Starting School

Ok, so I'm completely exhausted and coming down off our basketball season ending high, so please bear with me!

Ok, so you've heard how the first 4 years of Caleb's life is and how we were introduced to autism. Now we'll flash forward a bit to school years. I honestly believe that God himself has had a hand in picking the right teachers to work with Caleb. We have been so unbelieveably blessed since Dayschool to have the best teachers who are so patient and know just how to work with Caleb. Everytime we go to the school, whether it was at Mustang Valley or their current school Mustang Elementary, we cannot walk the halls without one of the teachers (not even necessarily the boys home room teacher!) telling us what wonderful, smart, loving, polite boys we have. I feel blessed to call them both my sons and my heart just swells with pride when I'm told this.

So, kindergarten was a huge transition period for Caleb. He went from a Dayschool setting in a class with 8-10 kids and going 2 days a week, to a class of 20 and going half day 5 days a week. Again we faced the first 30 mins of the day with crying, screaming, flailing and hiding under tables and in corners. As much as his teacher would try to coax him out, he would fight it. I believe that God as well placed little angels in his class. It's our nature as little girls and women to "mother" others. Caleb soon had several little "mothers" in his class! These little girls would work with him, on their own, without being asked and help him move from station to station in their class. To not sound too cliche (and this popped into my head last night watching tv), they were his Jenny (Forrest Gump). These little angels were determined to not let Caleb get behind. He seemed to respond well to them and began to edge his way into the circle that was his class. We did have the boys in the same kindergarten class because we thought that it would help Caleb transition a little better, knowing at least his brother was in the room full of strangers.

Towards the end of kindergarten we met for Caleb's IEP. This is a meeting with teachers and specialists at the school (speech therapists, occupational and physical therapists) to get a game plan for going into first grade. We knew that splitting the boys up was a must. Caleb had depended on Christian to speak for him and Christian didn't oblige, it was his brother and he knew him better than anyone. We also had to look at it from Christian's point of view. It wasn't his responsibility or fair to him to be his brother's keeper, his voice. But we also had faith in the teachers, Caleb and God that He would be his protector and see him through.

Caleb's days were filled with 20 mins of physical therapy 3 times a week, 45 mins of speech therapy 5 days a week, and 30 minutes of occupational therapy 3 times a week. All of this on top of the school work that comes in a regular class. In physical therapy Caleb did exercises that worked on his balance, agility and learning and being aware of the space around him. Occupational therapy was spent learning how to fasten a button on a shirt, how to hold a pencil/crayon the correct way (which he still refuses to do unless told!), and wearing weighted vests to keep him calm. I know this sounds odd, but it actually works! It's not a punishment. In the next paragraph I'll explain.

Most autistic kids have a sensory disorder. Meaning one or more of their senses (smelling, hearing, visual, touch, taste) are heightened and extremely sensitive. Caleb's hearing was extremely sensitive. He could not attend assemblies because they were held in a tiled cafeteria room. We all know how sound bounces off the tile. Well, imagine that sound at a level 4, what you would normally hear in a room full of kids talking at the same time, sound bouncing off the tiled floor. Now, take the volume level and crank it up to 10, that was Caleb's "normal" setting for hearing. Normal noise to you and I was amplified to him. Anytime kids got loud, his hands would immediately go to his ears. It wasn't always just the sound. The sound of over a hundred kids talking and laughing at the same time just severely overstimulated his brain. His brain couldn't handle it and it would throw him into a screaming meltdown.

I am so thankful that Caleb's sense of touch isn't as heightened as other autistic kids. There are some autistic kids who's brains cannot process the sense and pressure of a hug. Could you imagine not being able to hug your own child because it causes them physical and emotional pain? Caleb is a loveable child. He will hug you, but in his way. His hugs are more of a side hug, like you would hug a stranger. If you try to get him in a bear hug, he'll start to struggle to get out of it. It's not uncommon for Caleb to hug one of us for something so completely random like buying his favorite cereal; that's just Caleb! My heart breaks for the parents who can't share in this physical and emotional connection with their children.

Caleb's sense of smell is also heightened. The kid can smell ANYTHING! It's not so pronouced as it once was, but he smells EVERYTHING before he eats it. If it doesn't smell right, look right or have the right texture, he won't eat it, simple as that, there's no compromise. This has been difficult for some people to understand. When you have a kid who's diet is severely limited because of taste, smell AND texture of food you feel like you're feeding them the same things, which doesn't bother them. It's not a defiance thing, they don't eat it to be difficult and stubborn, they don't eat it because to them it isn't right. I've had several people ask me about the gluten free diet that seems to be all the rage with autistic kids and parents. Granted there are more food options that are gluten free. HOWEVER, when you already have a kid who's diet is severely limited, and you start taking away foods with gluten in them, what are they left to eat?! Caleb does not have some gastrointestinal issues that some other kids have, which is another reason their parents restrict their gluten intake. Again, this is my view on this. It make work for some kids, but isn't right for my son.

So, I hope this information will make you stop and think a little. Remember when you hug your kids are night, not to take it for granted, because some parents are denied that opportunity because of autism. Remember to be thankful that even though your kids may make a fuss over having to eat their vegetables, it's not because they smell, appear or taste so revolting it throws them into a screaming fit when you make them eat it before getting up from the table. Remember that when you walk into your hometown's high school football game, the band is playing and the crowd is cheering, your kid isn't the one covering his ears because the noise is just too much. These are some of the many situations we are forced to face daily because of autism.

(sorry for the rambling and jumping all over the place, again I am exhausted tonite!!! thanks for bearing with me!)

Until next time......