Where to begin??

I guess I could begin by talking about how autism entered our life and became a part of our daily vocabulary. Our oldest sons are twins, Caleb and Christian. They were born 20 minutes apart, only 2 weeks early and Caleb was actually the healthier of the two following their birth. Both boys hit all of their milestones during their first year. They both cut teeth a week apart at 7 months old. They both were walking then running at 10 months old, both could speak several words before they were a year old. They were healthy, happy babies! Both boys got their vaccinations, at the same time, from the same lot (vaccines are manufactured in lots, basically a batch), neither had any fevers or complications from their vaccines. This is important to me that I mention this, because I am not a parent who believes that vaccines cause autism.

Life was great with my two boys! Around the time Caleb was 3 though, we started to notice a gradual change. He became very anxious, even around family. When we'd walk in a room, especially a family gathering, he would hide his face and cover his ears. He would scream and cry if we tried to keep him in the room with everyone. We were finally forced to put him in a bedroom where it was quieter. This is how Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent around his 4th birthday. We didn't understand why he did this, we thought maybe he was just acting out. Christian seemed fine with the crowds and noise. The noise didn't seem excessively loud to us, only to him.

This all began to happen in late 2003. In 2003, there was still little known about autism and it definitely did not have the public awareness that it does now. When someone said the word Autism, you'd instantly think of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. I know I did. We had no clue what autism was really and had no clue as to what to even look for to diagnose it. It was just a word to describe a character in a movie to me, it certainly wasn't my child.

It wasn't until Caleb was enrolled in our church's dayschool program that things began to get worse and were becoming more evident to others around us. Caleb would spend the first 30 minutes after he was dropped off crying, sometimes it went on longer. The classroom had a bed that was used as a reading corner, he would often go over to it and cover his face and cry or just lay there. He didn't participate much in the activities that the other kids were doing. He was very clingy to his teacher. We didn't understand what was going on, we just thought maybe he was acting out because he'd rather be at home with grandma. Finally one day his teacher approached me and mentioned autism. Again, my mind immediately went to Rain Man and I got mad. More than mad, I was pissed! How dare someone accuse my son of being that way! Sure, he could be difficult at times, but he wasn't slow or disabled! After a few days I calmed down and turned to the good ole internet. I found check list after check list of signs of autism. Soon I noticed there were more checks on Caleb's list then non-checked signs. I honestly can say I was still in denial. It would take a few more years before I would finally accept those words I did not want to hear "Your child has autism."

The end of this post is near, I promise! I had to give you some background before I can continue the story. It's the preface to our story, our journey into a life with autism. I have much, much more to share and that will come.